MURPHY'S LAWS OF COMBAT
These are a few "truths" that warriors find out in the battlefield. Better to know them now than to have to find out the hard way. With a little imagination and adaptation, they can be used to reflect parallel "truths" for the office, on the field, on the mat. Think about it.....
This list is not exhaustive. If you have a few points to share with us, please do drop us a line.
1. Without a sound plan, there is little hope.
2. The best plans do not survive the first contact intact.
3. Doing something productive right now is better than figuring out the best plan tomorrow.
4. Tactics are for amateurs; professionals study logistics.
5. If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you've definitely misjudged the situation.
6. Perfect is the mortal enemy of good enough.
7. There has never been an "impregnable" defense.
8. Train as you wish to fight; fight as you train.
9. Do not prepare for the next war by training for the last one.
10. The important things are always simple.
11. The simple things are always hard.
12. KISS – Keep it simple, stupid!
13. If it's stupid but works, then it's not stupid.
14. He said "Cheer up, it could be worse!" So we cheered up. Sure enough, it got worse.
15. The easy path is inevitably mined.
16. Every command that can be misunderstood will be.
17. Success occurs when no one is looking, screw ups when the General is watching.
18. The more stupid the leader, the more important the missions he will be tasked with.
19. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo.
20. If you're drawing fire, it may be because you're conspicuous.
21. It's not the one with your name on it that's important; it's the one with "to whom it may concern".
22. Try not to draw fire, it irritates those around you.
23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
24. Density of fire is proportionate to the curiosity of the target.
25. Suppressive fire only works best on abandoned positions.
26. The most dangerous thing on a battlefield is a 2nd Lieutenant with a map and compass.
27. Never underestimate the ability of the brass to screw things up.
28. You have 2 mortal enemies in combat; the opposing side, and your rear echelon.
29. Walking point = sniper bait.
30. Incoming fire has right of way.
31. Tracers work both ways.
32. You can never have too much ammo.
33. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
34. When really in doubt, call in fire support.
35. Radios will always fail when you desperately need fire support.
36. No matter what radio frequency you're on, everyone else is on the other.
37. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
38. If you are forward of your position, the artillery will always fall short.
39. Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
40. If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU!
41. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire fight) is inversely proportional to the nearest cover.
42. If you are short of everything except enemy, you're in combat.
43. If you lose contact with the enemy, look behind.
44. When you have sufficient supplies and ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack.
45. When you don't have sufficient supplies and ammo, the enemy is sure to attack tonight.
46. If your positions are set and you are ready to take the enemy's assault, he will bypass you.
47. The enemy will attack on only 2 occasions: when they are ready, or when you are not.
48. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.
49. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
50. "Live" and "Hero" are normally mutually exclusive terms.
51. A Purple Heart means that you were smart enough to think of a plan; stupid enough to try it; lucky enough to survive.
52. If your attack is going really well, it's probably an ambush.
53. All 5 second grenade fuses will burn out in 3.
54. The bursting radius of a grenade is always 1 foot further than your jumping range.
55. Remember: Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
56. The complexity of the weapon is inversely proportional to the operator's IQ.
57. Field experience is something that you don't get until just after you need it.
58. You are not a superman/wonder woman.
59. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.
60. The ultimate close support weapon is a B52.
61. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
62. Napalm, CBU's and FAE's are area support weapons.
63. All weather close support doesn't work in bad weather.
64. The only truly secure terrain is the one you are currently standing on.
65. When you have secured an objective, don't forget to let the enemy know about it.
66. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you'll have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
67. No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.
68. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
69. Never tell a platoon sergeant that you have nothing to do.
70. If you need an officer in a hurry, just take a nap.
71. The quartermaster only has 2 sizes; too large and too small.
72. Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.
73. One of the most critical pieces of equipment that you will need in battle is the one you left behind at base.
74. No matter how careful you pack, the rucksack is too small.
75. No matter how small, the rucksack is too heavy.
76. No matter how heavy, what you need is never there.
77. Whatever it is you want, it's always at the bottom.
78. There is no limit to how bad things can get.
79. Loud sudden noises in a helicopter WILL get your attention.
80. The further you fly into Indian country, the louder the noises get.
81. It is a very bad thing to run out of altitude, airspeed and ideas at the same time.
82. It is mathematically impossible for hummingbirds and helicopters to fly. Fortunately, neither is aware of this.
83. The mark of a truly superior pilot is to use his superior judgment to avoid situations that will require him to actually use his superior skills.
84. The peak of Mt. Everest would flood if an Army unit was told to set up on it.
85. Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.
86. Body Count Math: 2 guerillas plus 1 portable plus 2 pigs equal 37 enemy KIA.
87. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
88. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
89. The enemy almost never follows the Rules of Engagement.
90. Always honor the threat.
91. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
92. War is like love. To triumph, you must make contact.
93. Stealing data from a person is called plagiarism; stealing it from the enemy is called intelligence gathering.
94. If enough data is collected, a Board of Inquiry can prove anything.
95. There is always a way, except that it usually doesn't work.
96. Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.
97. There is only 1 rule in war; he who wins makes the rules.
98. Whoever said that the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
99. If all else fails, hide.
100. You don't win a war by dying for your country; you do it by making the other poor bastard die for his.
101. Murphy was definitely a grunt.
